Merry, Mary or Martha Christmas?

Bill Brown Xiamen University
"Martha, Martha," the Lord answered, you are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed." Luke 11:41,42

My "Daily" noodles has missed a few days because I heeded the wise words of my friend Scott White (LACC), who e-mailed me to say,"May your Christmas be more Mary and less Martha-like!" Well put, Scott. There is far too much Martha Christmas than Mary Christmas for my liking--and in China, like the rest of the world, the percentage of Marthas is growing annually.

The Type A Epidemic in China
In my organizational behavior classes at Xiamen University, I teach students about Type A and Type B personality. Simply, Type B people are usually more relaxed, easy-going, and methodical, and Type A tend to be high-achievers, workaholics, "stress junkies." This is tough on their mental and emotional health, and body; research suggests that by age 65 most Type A people will have stress related diseases such as cancer, and 100% will have some heart problems! Worse, they dish this stress out to those around them (road rage is one result; read "Unsent E-mail Therapy). And this epidemic is growing in China as well.

I marvel at Chinese' patience. Yes, they get angry, but they usually keep it in check, and not just outwardly. And in the early 1990s, I gave the Type A/B test to my MBA students, and most were type B, or low Type A. But personality is shaped by environment, and as China's environment improved, opportunities increased, competition intensified, life got faster, and personalities changed.

The pace of life in Xiamen today is worlds apart from the island atmosphere of twenty years ago, when we made three phone calls in two years and did not worry when only one out of three got through. But each year, the percentage of students testing out as Type A got higher and higher. In my last semester, about 250 of 260 grad students were Type A! We're not as bad as Hong Kong, the most stressful city on the planet, but we'll get there if we don't take stock of the situation, and slow down, and start doing things in our Father's time, and our Father's strength, instead of ours.

I've written about this in other blogs, but given Scott White's e-mail, let's learn some lessons from Mary and Martha.

Martha Takes Charge
When we talk of Mary and Martha, we usually look at the story in Luke 10:38-42, where Martha bustles about and is upset that Mary is not helping. And Jesus reply, that Mary has "chosen what is better," goes against the grain of us Type A folks. Yeah, we can sit at Jesus feet--but who works in the kitchen? But before we look at Luke, let's look at Mary and Martha in John 11.

In John 11:20, Jesus is visiting the family of Lazarus after his death, and "When Martha heard that Jesus was coming, she went out to meet him, but Mary stayed at home." It may have been polite to go out to meet him (she was older), but it was also typical of her personality. Jesus had purposefully waited until Lazarus died to come. He was coming in His timing; Mary knew He was coming, and waited. Martha went out not just to greet him but to accuse him. Verse 21, "Lord," Martha said to Jesus, "if you had been here, my brother would not have died." Interpretation: "It is your fault Lazarus died." Verse 22: "But I know that even now God will give you whatever you ask." Interpretation: "You can fix your mistake if "even now" (don't delay again) you get your act together."

V.23 Jesus, as usual, drew her out. He said "Your brother will rise again." Martha replied in v.24, "I know he will rise again in the resurrection at the last day." Interpretation: "I did not say "even now" God will hear you if I wanted to wait for the last day! Do something here, now!"
V.25 Jesus now comes to the point and asks if she believe he is the resurrection and the life, and in v. 27, Martha shows that, in spite of her faults, she does believe. "I believe that you are the Christ..."
v.28"And after she had said this, she went back and caller her sister Mary aside. "The teacher is here," she said, and is asking for you." V. 29 When Mary heard this, she got up quickly and went to him."

Mary "got up quickly", but only when she had beeen called. She waited for her Lord's timing, patiently, because she knew that He was coming, and would do things in His way and His time. But verse 31 noted that even the Jews were surprised at how quickly Mary got up, and they followed her. And Mary fell at Jesus feet weeping, an also said that he could have prevented Lazarus from dying--but she did not ask or even suggest he do anything about it. And it was Mary's weeping that led Jesus to weep in John 11:35, the shortest verse of the Bible: "Jesus wept."

Now Jesus goes to raise Lazarus but in John 11.29, Martha explains to the man she has just said is the Christ but who is, evidently, a little dense, "But Lord, by this time there is a bad odor, for he has been there four days."

Martha just said Jesus could do anything; now she explains forensics to him. And in Jn. 11:40 Jesus comes to the point and says, "Did I not tell you that if you believed..." And Jesus raised Lazarus.

Only One Thing is Needed Now we've seen Martha and Mary in action--or, perhaps, Martha in action and Mary in inaction. Now let's look at Luke 10:38-42. Jesus visited the two sisters, and Mary "sat at the Lord's feet listening to what he said. But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, 'Lord, don't you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!'
'Martha, Martha,' the Lord answered, 'You are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.'"

Type As can all sympathize with Martha! But notice what is really being said. Jesus did not really mean only one thing is needed, anymore than he really meant to "take no thought" for what we wear (he did not mean for us to talk about naked). Obviously someone also has to cook if we are to eat. What he was saying is that we need priorities, and timing.

Distracted: Mixes Priorities. Martha was "distracted" by the preparations. Here she had the Son of God himself in her home, and she was more concerned that she had the finest cloth on the table, and the best foods. Mary was listening to Jesus, sitting at his feet like a disciple, but Martha was working, in her own timing and her own strength, doing things for Jesus he did not need or ask for. If I had the Lord of the Universe in my home, teaching, I'd call a caterer and then sit at his feet and take lots of notes!

Manipulative Martha. Jesus pointed out that Martha was not just worried and upset about preparing for Jesus but "many things." This was her typical disposition. She was a worrier, a controller, even a manipulator, as she showed when she accused Jesus (not Mary), saying, "Lord, don't you care that my sister Mary is doing nothing!" And after Lazarus' death ("God can do anything you ask, Lord, if you're smart enough to ask"). Type A people take control, and manage and manipulate, to make sure things are done right, and done now. But ironically enough, this often fails in life, as well as in the spiritual realm.

Failed Type As. Research has shown that Type A people usually "feel" more successful ("We do things; type B people just talk about doing things"), but Type Bs are often better CEOS because, with many responsibilities, they think before they act. They may be slower, but they are less likely to rush into things and make mistakes. They listen, think, and then act.

When to Act? Mary may have indeed been wrong in not helping Martha, but Jesus' defense of Mary was not really directed at the specific situation but the general attitude of the two women. One, Martha does not appreciate the opportunity she has of learning from Jesus. Two, she accuses Jesus himself ("Don't you care?")

What Did Jesus Do? Jesus could have agreed with Martha, or defended Mary, or done the "servant bit" and cooked dinner himself and told Martha to take a rest. But Jesus defended Mary--not because Martha was wrong in what she was doing but because of her attitude towards what she was doing, and why, and her lack of balance. She was serving (which is good and necessary) but not feeding herself spiritually, and as a result had become a busy, controlling, even manipulative person.

Jesus was not saying "Do not do all these things!" He was saying to have priorities. You cannot serve others in the proper spirit, with the proper motives, if you do not nourish your soul first.

Martha was doing many good things--but in her own timing, in her own way, in her own strength. These kinds of people can indeed get a lot done, but often at a price that our Father never demanded. Consider the price that Bob Pierce paid to start World Vision International. It began with an incident right her in Xiamen, with an abused child and Tene Holkeboer, and this ministry, where Susan Marie worked when I met her, has reached millions of people, but Bob was "on a mission for God" (as a daughter put it), and did it largely in his own strength, not God's, and while he built a great ministry, in the end he lost his ministry, lost his physical and emotional health, lost his family, and died. But that story is for another day....

Martha's Vision; God's Vision
"Don't you care?" Martha asked Jesus. She asked this because she could not see that she was not the only one with a plan. Jesus did care--much more than Martha, and about many more things. But He had clear priorities, and a broader and more eternal perspective.

We need to work like Martha--but first we need to listen like Mary so we will know where to work, and when, and what to do. And then perhaps we can overcome some of the Type A behavior that leads to anger and road rage (unless, of course, you are driving in China, for which there may be no cure this side of paradise).

Suggestion: Start with taking Sundays off--not out of legalism or religious intent, but for your physical and mental health! Jesus said "The Sabbath was made for man, not man for the Sabbath." You'll rest physically and emotionally, and this in turn will give you a bit of balance to help with spiritual growth. Best of all, you will find, as I have, that you can get much more done in six days than in seven!
Click Here for "3 Reasons 6 > 7"

Suggestion: Search Google for an online Type A Type B Personality Test
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