Keep your tongue, keep your life

"He that guards his tongue keeps his life." Proverbs 13:3

"A single word may be enough to stamp a man as wise or the reverse; hence we should not be careless in our speech." Tzu Kung *
"The superior man wishes to be slow in his speech and earnest in his conduct." Confucius*

An American in Xiamen boasted, "I'm not like the Chinese. I don't beat around the bush. I say whatever I think!"

Twenty years ago I might have admired his frankness but a couple of decades with the Chinese has taught me that it is not always smart to say whatever you think--whether in China or anywhere else.

Chinese typically are guarded in their speech--not because they are deceitful but because they go to great lengths not to say anything that will cause themselves, or others, to lose "face." I get frustrated trying to get a straight answer from a Chinese friend or colleague, but after sticking my foot in my mouth so many times, especially here in China, I've come to appreciate how true it is that a word once spoken can never be unspoken. It can be explained, or excused, or if you're a politician even denied, but once words are spoken they take on lives of their own; they become seeds that grow in the minds of hearers, for good or evil.

As the saying goes, "If you're silent others may think you're an idiot; if you speak you may remove all doubt." And so I've learned to think twice, sometimes thrice, before speaking. The childhood saying, "Sticks and stones may break my bones but words can never hurt me," is nonsense. Sticks and stones wound only the body; words wound hearts. and a heart may be harder to heal than a broken body.

John MacArthur, in his message "Taming the Tongue," said that someone calculated that we speak enough words each day to fill a 54-page book; that is sixty six 800-page books in a year! What are those books saying about you, and others?

The Talmud tells the story of a king who asked a jester to search for the best thing in the world. He returned from a long search and presented to the king with a package. It contained a tongue. "The tongue is truly the best thing in the world," admitted the king.

"Now go and find the worst thing in the world," he said. The jester again searched the globe and returned with another small parcel, which he presented to the king. He unwrapped the package and found--another tongue.

Is your tongue the best thing in the world, or the worst?

A century ago, in "Our Daily Homily," F.B. Meyer wrote this about Proverbs 13:3:

"What we say influences others, but it has a reflex influence on ourselves. When we speak unadvisedly and impurely, we sow seeds of ill harvests not in others only, but in ourselves, and the very utternace injures us. When, on the other hand, we refuse to give expression to a wrong or unkind thought, we choke and strangle it.

"Will each reader and hearer of these words carefully bear this in mind. If you express what is uncharitable or wrong, you gratify the evil nature that is in you, and you strengthen it. If, on the contrary, you refuse to express it, you strike a death-blow at the cursed thying itself. When your guard your mouth you keep your life, because you weaken that which is gnawing insidiously at the root of your life. If there is fire in a room, be sure not to open door or window; for air is its fuel and food. And if a fire is burning within you, be sure not to give it vent. What goes forth from you defiles you. Would you see good days? Refrain your lips from evil.

"Perhaps you find yourself unable to guard your mouth. You are only discovering the truth of those terrible words: "The tongue...can no man tame; it is a restless evil, full of deadly poison." If man cannot tame it, the Saviour can. Cry to Him then, saying, "Set a watch, O Lord, before my mouth, keep the door of my lips."

*Quote from Tehyi Hsieh, "Confucius Said it First," Warren Press, Boston, 1939