The crucible for silver and the furnace for gold, but man is tested by the praise he receives. Proverbs 27:21 NIV
Two of my Xiamen University MBA students' responses to my praise taught me that we must be very careful in both how we receive praise and how we give it. My praise encouraged one student to do even better, and they literally aced my course. But my praise of the other student seemed to suggest to them that they had already done enough to get by [like the rich man in Jesus' parable who decided to kick back and enjoy life], and they went downhill from there, in spite of subsequent warnings. And when they received a low grade, they blamed me!
Self-Esteem--Two-Edged Sword. As I teach in Organizational Behavior, to change actions we must change attitudes, and a pivotal attitude is self-esteem. Of course, some Christians have a knee-jerk reaction to the very word and quote, "I can do all things through Christ..." (Philippians 4:13. That is one of my favorite verses as well--but Christ also taught us that whoever is faithful in small things will be given greater things to do. Christ taught this because he expects us to learn, and grow. Life is about growth--spiritually, emotionally, and mentally.
God's Children Grow. We are children of God--but our Father also expects us to grow up. Paul wrote, "When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me." 1 Cor. 13:11 NIV Our Father gives us vision, skills and abilities, and then he gives us a task to use them. The more we can do, the more he gives us to do. True, we do all things in Christ--but it is still we ourselves that have to do those things. (Someone said, "Without God, man cannot; without man, God will not". That may be simplistic, but there's a point to it).
Part of growing up is expanding our awareness of what we can and should be doing, and increased self-esteem does not necessarily mean we esteem God less. Prince William in England obviously thinks pretty highly of himself--but he also knows that much of his position and power rests in his being a member of the royal family. If that family fell, he could be looking for work like other Englishmen. We too are royalty--children of the Father (and our Family will not fall). We should have confidence in our Father, but we should also grow up and have confidence in the abilities and traits that our Father has blessed us with.
Encouraged or Inflated? Whether we give praise or receive it, we must be cautious that praise serves to encourage and built up, and not just to inflate immature egos. Overly-inflated egos are as easily burst as the cheap Chinese balloons we used to buy for our sons' birthdays.
Praise or Flattery? We should distinguish between praise and flattery. Praise elevates the receiver; flattery elevates the sender, because the flatterer hopes their honeyed words will get them in their targets' good graces.
Always Growing We must be careful that praise does not make us complacent but instead spurs us on, because no matter how deserved the praise may be, life is about continued growth. If we cease growing, then we may very well cease living--like the rich man in Jesus' parable [ Luke 12:16-21].
The rich man said to himself, "I have so much wealth that I don't have enough room to store it. I must build more barns, and then I will sit back and enjoy life." And he died that night.
If you are praised today, be thankful for it, and be encouraged--but don't let it go to your head. A sportsman who receives a trophy does not sit on his laurels but places the trophy on his shelf and continues to train, because if he does not keep training and running, he'll be taken off the team and spend the rest of his life sitting on the sidelines, accumulating dust like his trophies.
Give praise, and receive praise. And then "forgetting what is behind, press forward." Philippians 3:!3
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