"The tongue that brings healing is a tree of life..." Proverbs 15:4a
"A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger." Proverbs 15:1
Is Silence the Solution? Confucius said "Silence is a true friend who never betrays," but is silence a friend when we see a blind man walking off a cliff?
James wrote that the tiny tongue can be a great evil, and "If anyone is never at fault in what he says, he is a perfect man, able to keep his whole body in check" (James 3:2). He likened the tongue to ta ship's rudder, small but steering the great ship's course. We would indeed do well not to multiply our words like a fool (Ecc. 10:14; Prov. 10:18), but that does not mean that silence is the solution.
Silence, or Healing Words? Silence is of course often safer. "Even a fool keeping silence is reckoned wise" (Proverbs 17:28). But if we are concerned for others as well as ourselves, we cannot hide behind silence. As Solomon wrote centuries before the Chinese sage's birth, there is "a time to keep silence, and a time to speak." Eccles. 3:7.
When Silence? There are times when words are wasted. Proverbs 23:9 says, "Speak not in the ears of a fool: for he will despise the wisdom of your words." And Proverbs 26:!7 says "Like one who grabs a dog's ears is one who passes by and meddles in a quarrel not his own..." But even here silence is not always warranted. The Bible says to speak for the oppressed, even if we ourselves are not being oppressed. As for the fool...we need wisdom to discern if the person is a bona fide fool or merely acting the fool--as was common during the Cultural Revolution.
Healing Tongues are not Silent The "healing tongue" of Proverbs 15:4a is not a silent tongue. It is a tongue that speaks gently, patiently, and above all, compassionately, as in the true story of my late friend Zhang Li (张力). While he was an angry Red Guard during the Cultural Revolution, his entire life was transformed by the "soft answers" of a gentle but persistent lady working in the Xiamen Botanical Garden.
Back to the Garden--True Tale of Cultural Revolution
(adapted from "Magic Xiamen--Guide to Xiamen")
Zhāng Lì set his clay teacup on the brown plastic tray and said, “I was a Red Guard, you know. As insolent as they came. But I was given a new heart in the 10,000 Rock G
arden.“During the Cultural Revolution, public property was up for grabs by any Red Guard who wanted it.
"We used to seize whatever we wanted and no one dared stop us. And one day, my friend and I decided we wanted rare and beautiful flowers for our room, so we each grabbed a sack and headed for the Botanical Garden.
“In the green house we were overwhelmed by the variety and beauty of the tropical flowers. I was about to put a beautiful plant in my sack when I heard a noise and turned to see an old lady bent over some plants, weeding them.
“We didn’t fear her, because no one dared question or hinder a Red Guard. But when she looked up at us she didn’t seem fearful either, or surprised that we had barged into her greenhouse, or that we obviously planned to steal some flowers. In fact, she smiled!
“Before I could move she walked over and picked up the plant I had been eyeing and held it before my eyes. ‘Isn’t it beautiful?’ she exclaimed. ‘These are very rare and come from South America. They are difficult to grow but well worth the effort. Do you like it?’
“I was speechless! I glared at her and headed for another exotic plant, but before I could even reach for it she had set the other plant down and rushed up to my side, and asked, “Do you know what this plant is called?”
“‘No,’ I snarled. She was getting on my nerves.
“She smiled, and patiently explained the plant’s name, origin, and how to keep it alive. She concluded, ‘It is very beautiful, isn’t it?’
“I stomped away, frustrated, but every time we reached for a plant she was beside us, smiling, patiently explaining the plant’s origins, habitats, and needs. She never raised her voice, and when I picked up a plant anyway and started to put it in my bag, she just looked at me silently, with a little smile, but sad eyes.
“I melted. I had been so angry and bitter, and determined to take it out on society, but her gentleness and patience defused my anger, and my friend’s too, and we walked out, leaving our sacks behind us, defeated, and renewed.
“We were so glad when the Cultural Revolution ended soon afterward. It has been two decades now, and I’ve returned to the garden many times hoping to see the lady, to tell her how much she changed my life, but I’ve never seen her again. Maybe she’s dead now. But I’ll never forget her…”
Postscript: Zhang Li became a dockworker in Xiamen, wrote in his spare time, and won national awards for his TV scripts and books (especially his children's books). He touched many hearts, including mine, and to my utter shock, died of cancer just after I wrote this, and before he could even read it. I'm so thankful to the unknown botanical garden worker's "soft answers" that became healing words not just for Zhang Li but for countless others.
Zhang Li told me many other heartwarming true Cultural Revolution Tales, many of them quite humorous. I'm thinking of posting them as "Light Tales from a Dark Decade."
Banana Photo Note: Zhang Li had a farm in Changtai, which is part of Zhangzhou, west of Xiamen, and when I visited he gave me a large stalk of bananas. When we got it home we found it had a nest of field mice--much to our cat's delight.
"When words are many, sin is not absent, but he who holds his tongue is wise." Proverbs 10:18
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